I am a loser ......

I am a loser in my life .

I never done anything that I am proud of.

For all these years .....

What have I done?

I got play out by a person who I am so engrossed years ago.

I got treated like an idiot by a friend who I thought I am close to.

I got treated totally like a stranger at home.

I got received sms " You are just too selfish ....!"

I've done nothing ...nothing ...nothing at all!!

I am angry ..why I am still here.....?

I wish I will knock by a car and foget everythings .....

I know I am not in my usual self today.I know I sound stupid and silly .

its hurt........

It's torture.......

How long I have to be like this.......?

I really wish to disappear ..reborn to the new world again...

That's my true feeling I am having now...

Do I have a better choice?

Heavens ....a place free from pain

will someone shed a tear for me if I am gone...?

Silly fatty fann

Well, I feel fat. My photo looked so fat.

My mirror tell me " Please watch your diet.. you are getting fat."

My Jean tell me " Stop squeezing your big butt on me, you are FAT!"

My M Size T-shirt tell me " You got to increase your size...."

Sighed....I am working in the F & B industry , how to keep slim when I get to eat all the nice foods for free ? you tell me .....

Silly fatty fann is hungry again , She feel like having bread with cheese and fried eggs for breakfast . She just searched around in the kitchen and found 6 eggs, some left over milk bread , cheese, butter and two pic of spring onion frozen roti prata...great!! She got everything she want.

Silly fatty fann is going to make her breakfast to fill her empty stomach before she start her revision for her audit exam tomorrow.

Silly fatty fann just received best wished from her dearest pig family . She love her pig family so much.

Silly fatty fann supposed to start her revision at 9am.She just can't do anything with her empty stomach.

Off she go to prepare her breakfast with peel fresh mixed fruits & vegetables juice drink to complete the meal ..hehe

Charity Drive

Have you ever work in a food court doing all those clearing of plates and cups from table to table ? I got the taste of it on last Sunday. That was for my company charity event and it's not an easy task okie. Imagine there were over thousands of people, hundreds of tables and I was in charge for a section to clear the whole row of tables ..

Well, my company had broke the record for creating the longest buffet with over 500 dishes. Really thanks everyone for their effort to make it happened.

Why him ???????

I am not a superstar big fans, but this guy (Hong Junyang) really caught my eyes. He is so cuttteeeee and very potential to be the winner of SUPERSTAR.

I enjoy every of his performances...But WHY him?

I really got a shocked when I saw the result yesterday night. Why eliminated him? I am so looking forward to see his final performance at the indoor stadium. I am so looking forward to buy his new single album.I felt that he is much more better than Weilian. Not to say that I am bad or what...but how far can Weilian go? Not to judge on look or whatever..his singing just can't beat Junyang.......now who is the winner is not important anymore.

He is always my SUPERSTAR. I voted him :)

Junyang don't give up !!!! You can make it !!

Mambo party here we come!!!!

Yes ! our second party of the month at Zouk Mambo night ....Yohoooooooooo...so fun leh!! But that's made me worked like a zombie today. Enjoy the photo :) I going for my beauty sleep soon .....



Our photo taking session at Zourrrrrrrrrk ladies ...haha we are not allow to take photo at the bar.


We take photo like nobody business.......


still pose again .....


Our fav photo .....dim dim lighting concealed our flawed to make us look more BEAUTIFUL :)

We are sianz xiao didi killer!!!

I think I am back to my poor monkey life style. I am damn broke, really need to give a thought when spending money.

My haircut cost me $116 , just merely trim and highlight.I know that's cost me a bomb, but I still like to go there for my haircut. Being a loyal customer there for almost 5 years. I quite happy with my hair stylist.

My hair stylist is damn cute, while cutting he suddenly " Ah ..............."

I was puzzled by his weird weird expression ? I was thinking what hair cut he going to cut for me this time?

He then told me , " oh ya, your good friend came here recently " and ended with a smile on his face.

He is referring to my ex BF Jeffrey. He told me he is into sales line now, a young working adult now.

Well, good for him, It's been so long I last seen him..I do hope his life is well paved. I always thought we can be friend again..hmmmmm.....

My hair cut took me for hours, sitting there for hours really bored me. I was thinking since I'm already in town so as well date liwen out for dinner. I left the salon at 330pm and arrange to meet Liwen 4pm at bugis. That lazy pig really take her own sweet time. Giving her ample time for her and still she was still late!!

Well we have a good day yesterday. Really make full use of our saturday off. We shop from bugis all the way to suntec. Had our dinner at Olio Dome..hmmmmm. I love the ambience there, can sit down there for hours for gossip session. Damn good lor !! I love my gossip session with Liwen. We can really talked . We can dug out all our past like our embarrassed stuffs and have a good laugh again. And this woman ah , I really love all her jokes , and both of us really got the same taste. Be it on clothes, food and woman . hhahah ya we see pretty gals too! I think that's why we can click so well eh?...

After dinner, we went for movie. We watched ' Wedding Crashers'. That movies is damn hilarious. I enjoyed every bits of it. Thought that was the end of the day, this liwen suddenly asked me " Want go party ?"

Sometimes really cannot understand this young woman. She never like that lor. Never so last min lor.I replied her that I am fine with it. Initially I thought she was joking, but she seems quite serious about it. Anyway it's been so long we both party together. We just go ahead with the ideal.

We hailed a cab and headed to Dld O partying.

We know it's a saturday and there will be alot youngster around but we simply don't care.

We know there won't be any good looking mature guys at the dance floor for us to bleo but we simply don't care.

We know it's not a ladies night for free flow drink or any sponsorship for us to get drunk but we simply don't care.

We know we are not on our party dress but we simply don't care.

We just want to enjoy!! Just want to have as much fun we can!!!

It's been so long we had retro party. Those retro songs like "I am so lucky ""Venus" Love all those songs man and we really like back to our teenager party at Mdm Wong. We drank till shiok shiok . She hoot me shiok shiok cause I am a five ten loser..

We have so much fun!!!! And don't know how we managed to hook xiao didi at the bar counter. Got Sianz Xiao didi market Value okie?

Don't know how old is that cute guy, still can hug me somemore. Don't know whether I eat his tofu or he eat mine...haha

And you know what he even sms to inform me that he reached home ..

" Take care MISS FANN. I reached home liao.Next time jio you out again. Take care and good night..."

How sweet , how innocent can.

Nice hair cut ...nice photo to show YOU!!

Yes ...Just bought a digi camera CASIO EXILIM S500. Love it so much but it really cost me a bomb...

Finally can put some colour on my blog..PHOTO!!PHOTO!!PHOTO!!


before my haircut ...looked so boring


My new hair cut ...nice??? it cost me a bomb okie....


on our way to shi ma lu temple pai pai ....


see this zhabo expression...looked like that popiah really taste soooooo delicious ah ???


We have our dinner at olio dome at suntec...nice ambience


my dinner!! Fresh mushroom souupp!! nice ah


Liwen sms a secret guy at late night ....duno who's that leh...she shy shy never tell leh....

Leave not approved!!!!

I feel sucks...totally no mood at all.

I am so looking forward for that day to come and....

She told me my leave is not approved for next thursday...

Why??!!??? Why??!!???

No mood liao ....

Guilty by Blue...........

I never want to play the games that people play
I never want to hear the things they gotta say
I've found everything I need
I never wanted anymore than I can see
I only want you to believe

[CHORUS]

If it's wrong to tell the truth
Then what am I supposed to do
When all I want to do is speak my mind (speak my mind)

If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my heart's a crime -
Then I'm guilty

I wanna give you all the things you never had
Don't try to tell me how he treats you isn't bad
I need you back in my life
I never wanted just to be the other guy (be the other guy)
I never wanted to live a lie

if it's wrong to tell the truth
What am I supposed to do
All I want to do is speak my mind (speak my mind) -

If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my heart's a crime
Then I'm guilty

Girl I followed my heart
Followed the truth
Right from the start it led me to you
Please don't leave me this way
I'm guilty now all I have to say

If it's wrong to tell the truth
Then what am I supposed to do
When all I want to do is speak my mind (speak my mind)

If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my hearts a crime
Then I'm guilty

What am I supposed to do
Then I'm guilty
All I wanna do is speak my mind
Guilty
Then I'm guilty
I'm prepared to testify
If it's wrong to do what's right then tell me about this feeling inside
If loving you with all my hearts a crime
I'm Guilty

Life.......

Listening Angel on my favourite radio station. So much thoughts flashing into my mind...Wondering am I happy for the past 25 years? How you feel to be happy? What is that feeling like?

I can't feel it. I can't see it in my life ....Life is just a drama. Smile to put on an act that I am happy. ....they will never know the deep inside of me..

I am so lonely..

After 12 midnight will be my mum 10th year anniversary. I really miss her. I miss the love that she gave me. She make me realise what is happiness.

Since after she passed away, I tend to be more reserved. I seldom talk to my family. Everyone in the family treated me like a stranger. We dont't seem to know each other . They live by their own. Properly because our parent are not with us.I feel like I am an orphan. I am not really that strong, I am scared...I scared of loneliness....

If I could, ever have a chance to tell this to my mum...

I didnt forget about you.I still blame myself for not staying one more night with you. If I could, I will still be able to stay with you abit longer. It's been so long and I can remember every moment that I am with you....

Those days we went to have our breakfast before my school start..

Those days that I spend my night at hospital with you..

Whenever I want something, you never say a no to me..

You always will be in my heart..

I love you..you make me smile and realise what is happiness....

Highlight of the week...

Well, I am just lazy to update my blog...but recently happened so much things that I wish to pen down my thoughts...

I was happy on last friday...

Finally, yes!!!! Finally I get to enjoy my first Jazz concert which was played at Esplanade Recital Studio. Basically I know nothing about Jazz, but I just like it. I do appreciate music okieeee!!! It was just soooooOooo soothing . All the work stress just gone!!Very relax and laid back. I tell you ah...that Jazz pianist is damn cool can...My eyes were on him for that whole night ...making me drooling ...hehe Neighbour,let's go for Jazz concert more often!!!

I was happy on Saturday....

Meet up my dearest Gf, liwen for shopping spree at the new renovated Marina Square. Our odjective is to shop shop shop shop!!! I just can't wait to shop there. It's a shopping paradise!!!!...make me feel so excited!!!

There is so many nice and cosy restaurants over there. Great place to rest our tiring feet after the long hours of shopping ...like the ambience, can just glued my ass there for hours of bitching session!!!

Well, didn't really shop anything but manage to get a simple and nice Mango tee . Liwen and I bought the same tee ...same colour somemore. We got the same taste on clothing ..hur hur...but not the same taste on man lor...

I was P-I-S-S-E-D off on Tuesday.....

I am wondering , did I change ? No I didn't...

I am what you know me.

Sometime I just don't understand. Did I use the wrong choice of words?

It should be a joke that make people laugh...

But why people mistaken that I am trying to find him trouble? I shall not mentioned that person name.

This is what happned...

He got angry with me just because I send him a Lou Han shi ba zhan middle finger emoticon on MSN. I find it very cute and funny, but he felt sooooooooooooooooooo offensive.

He scolded me Knn and even tell my colleague off " NEXT TIME DONT INVITE ME TO GO KBOX AGIAN!!!" and logged off his MSN.

I don't understand why he got such BIG reaction? Did I use the wrong words?

I went on to ask him thru sms.

He replied " You know I hate girl saying vulgar........."

In fact I didn't scold him in words....its just a little cute emoticon showing his magic of his middle finger ....sighed...

Please don't tell me that YOU are suprised that I sending such emoticon to u .Now.... who don't scold VULGAR in their whole damn life you tell me ??? I don't pretend to be an angel okie? Sending such emoticon doesnt show I am bad. Doesn't mean I can kill a person? Doesn't mean that I am nothing to do finding people trouble? Are you nuts??

as he wish..

I dont care whether he is reading this....

Yes, It's just a small matter and you will be asking me why I am making a big fuss over this. I can't feel nothing when he say those hurting words about me...What I am finding him trouble ? What I scolding vulgar to him ? What I am becoming bad to worse ...what I can treat him like Johnson, stop contact things like that ... And finally he make me realise I am such a disturbance to him all the while...

This is the friendship I got from him......

But please bear in mind.....girl don't like xiao qi gui!!!!!!!!!